The Panties… Bunny Unfiltered

These little beauties are gonna bring good luck to the whole team.

Bunny beams as she wraps each pair of pink panties in sweet little bags, decorated with butterfly stickers and tied up with dainty pink bows. She can just see it—her teammates holding them up, giggling over the lacy fabric and that bright raspberry scent.

Now, she thought she ordered the same lucky panties that’ve been improving her game… but these felt a touch different.

For one thing, they were even more delicate—if that was possible.
And for another… well… they smelled like a raspberry candy factory.

Still.

“Well,” Bunny mutters to herself, pleased as punch, “at least we’ll all smell sweet while we’re sweatin’ our way to the championship.”

She thinks of Mary Beth and the way she perspires and has that little incontinence issue. These lovelies will keep her fresh!

That settles it. The girls are gonna be thrilled.

That evening, Bunny pulls into Sling-It—Hop Island’s one and only bowling alley—and the parking lot is packed tighter than a church on Easter Sunday. Saturday night plus tournament season? Lord help us.

She grabs her bowling bag, her gift bags, and heads inside, excitement practically fizzin’ off her.

There they are—her team.

And baby, all eyes are on Bunny.

Now this time, she made sure she was properly dressed. No repeat of that missing bra situation. Not today, Satan.

She lifts her chin, flashes a gracious smile, and glides past the winks, whistles, and not-so-subtle chuckles like she owns the place.

“Ladies!” she calls, clapping her hands. “I come bearing gifts!”

She passes out the little bags, practically bouncing on her toes.

“Go on—open ‘em! You are not gonna believe what I got y’all!”

The women exchange looks.

Careful looks.

The kind of looks that say this could go real wrong.

Still, they open the bags.

“What in the world—” Tracy starts.

“Your eyes are not deceivin’ ya!” Bunny says, glowing. She leans in, lowering her voice. “I been wearing my lucky pink panties to bowling, and as y’all have surely noticed, my game has improved.”

She hooks a finger in her jeans and gives a proud little tug. “It’s all because of these.”

The women freeze.

“You want us to… what exactly?” Alice asks.

“Go put ‘em on!” Bunny says, delighted. “They’re magic! These right here are taking us to the championship!”

Not one of them is about to argue that out in the middle of Sling-It.

So, like a herd of deeply suspicious cattle, they shuffle off to the restroom.

They return.

(Some more committed than others.)

“Well?” Bunny asks, eyes shining. “Y’all feel lucky?”

Mary Beth smiles, a little too bright. “I feel… something. But why do they smell like a fruit stand exploded?”

“So we stay fresh!” Bunny says, nodding hard. “Pure genius—right?”

An hour later, Alice leans toward Tracy.

“Do you smell that?”

“I’ve been smelling that,” Tracy mutters. “And it’s getting stronger.”

Alice’s eyes drift.

“…Oh no.”

“What?” Tracy whispers.

“…Mary Beth.”

Mary Beth is mid-celebration after a strike, arms in the air, grinning like she just won the lottery.

And right there—

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Tracy breathes.

A bright pink stain on the private area of her tan capris.

Unmissable. “I didn’t actually change my underwear when we were in the ladies room. Did you?” Alice hisses.

“No way,” Tracy says quickly. “Something about them felt… wrong.”

“Look at her,” Alice whispers. “Oh Lord, she doesn’t even know.”

Mary Beth spins around and rushes Bunny, throwing her arms around her.

“These panties are the best!” she whispers.

“I know!” Bunny says, hugging her right back.

Then Mary Beth pulls away.

Pauses.

Her smile… falters.

Her eyes drop.

Slowly.

“…Bunny…”

Bunny looks down too.

Squints.

Tilts her head.

“Well now—”

Matching.

Bright.

Pink.

And both of them smell like cheap raspberry gum.

A ripple moves through the bowling alley.

People sniff.

They stare.

They whisper.

Mary Beth’s face drains clean of color.

Then—

She screams.

And takes off for the ladies’ room like her pants are on fire—which, frankly, might be an improvement.

Tracy and Alice bolt after her.

The door SLAMS.

And just like that—

Every single eye in Sling-It turns back to Bunny.

Standing there.

Alone.

In edible, disintegrating, underwear.

Looking like she’s been personally betrayed by a fruit snack.

Bunny straightens.

Draws herself up to her full five-foot-two.

Squares her shoulders.

Leads with confidence—and a whole lotta chest.

Flips her hair like a pageant queen under pressure—which of course, she used to be.

And marches straight to the ladies’ room to join her team-mates and friends.

Somehow her ears are burning before the door slams behind her.

Mary Beth, Alice, and Tracy fall silent and glare at Bunny with eyes so angry they could stir up a hurricane.

Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, Mary Beth steps toward Bunny and stammers, her voice quivering.

“I have never…could never be more humiliated…how could you? Please tell me this was a mistake Bunny, cuz it’s anything but funny! Tell me right now that this isn’t your idea of a joke!”

Bunny is too stunned to speak.

Alice steps forward, sniffs, holds her head high, and points a stiff arm towards the door.

“Bunny, I think you need to leave. We can’t handle any more drama or embarrassment from you tonight, or ever. We are all just mortified!”

Bunny’s face is burning red and tears threaten to break the dam.

“It was an accident!”  Bunny stammers. “I must have ordered the wrong…”

“Just go,” Alice cuts her off and points at the door. “Now!”

Bunny fights back a sob and leaves. She shamefully packs up her bowling bag and rushes towards the door—but not before being caught by the cold eyes of Vivian.

There it is—that famous broad smile—the smile that never reaches her eyes.

Bunny shivers and races for her car, gets in quickly and locks the doors.

She grips the steering wheel, blinking fast, trying to outdrive the sting in her chest.

“Okay,” she whispers. “Okay…that didn’t go how I planned.”

She exhales. Straightens.

“…but it’s fixable.”

Because the playoffs start next week.

And there is absolutely no way in hell she is handing that trophy to Vivian.

💋 Bunny Unfiltered
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